Penny McCarthy
Independent Civil Funeral Celebrant
Serving bereaved families in Shropshire, Worcestershire and beyond
mccarthypenny@outlook.com 07849 208924
A unique and meaningful farewell for your loved one
The
death
of
someone
we
love
is
one
of
the
most
painful
experiences
we
ever
have
to
face,
and
if
you’re
here
because
you’ve
recently
suffered
such
a
loss
then
please
accept
my sympathies.
My
name
is
Penny
McCarthy
and
I’m
a
qualified
and
experienced
Civil
Funeral
Celebrant,
working
with
bereaved
families
to
create
funeral
ceremonies
that
fulfil
these
needs.
Every
part
of
a
ceremony
I
co-create
with
a
bereaved
family
is
individual,
designed
to
reflect
the
personality
and beliefs of the person who has died.
From
the
words
of
welcome
which
open
the
ceremony,
to
the
words
of
comfort
which
close
it;
from
the
telling
of
the
story
of
a
life
that
has
been
lived,
to
the
words
of
farewell
(sometimes
called
the
committal),
spoken
as
we
let
go
of
the
life
that
has
ended.
From
words
of
wisdom
drawn
from
the
work
of
great
writers
and
poets,
to
music
that
was
significant
to
the
person
who
has
died,
or
which
expresses
an
important
sentiment.
And,
when
words
aren’t
enough,
using
symbols
that
have
the
power
to
express
more
potently
what
we
feel
-
an
open
book,
the
lighting
of
a
candle
(where
permitted
by
the
venue),
the
placing of objects important to the person who has died
.
All these elements are woven together to create a
unique farewell to a unique individual and help us
begin to let go of us some of our pain and begin the
process of coming to terms with our loss.
A ‘good’ funeral?
I
t
may
seem
strange
to
speak
of
a
funeral
as
being
‘good’.
Surely
it’s
the
last
place
we
want
to
find
ourselves.
But
funerals
have
an
important
purpose
for
those left behind in helping us come to terms with our loss.
A
good
funeral
is
like
a
journey.
We
arrive,
feeling
lost
and
in
pain,
perhaps
unable
to
really
accept
that
the
person
we
loved
has
died.
Through
words,
music
and
symbolic
actions,
we
acknowledge
the
pain
and
loss
we
feel,
we
honour,
respect
and
celebrate
all
that
was
good
about
their
life
before
formally
saying
our
farewells.
And
funerals
aren’t
necessarily
all
sad
-
as
we
remember
the
life
of
our
loved
one
and
all
the
joy
we
shared
with
them,
there
will be smiles, too, and even laughter.
And
when
we
‘get
it
right’
we
leave
at
the
end
feeling
changed,
somehow
better,
lighter.
We’ve
acknowledged
the
importance
of
the
life
our
loved
one
led,
the
impact
they
had
on
us.
And
along
the
way
we’ve
let
go
of
some
of
the
pain,
and
begun
the
process
of
coming
to
terms
with
a
life
without
their
physical
presence,
knowing
too
that,
in
a
very
real
way,
they
will
always
be
with
us.
Many
of
my
clients
say
afterwards
that
they
were
dreading
the
funeral, but in the end it was a good day and they felt comforted by it.
‘I must say a big thankyou for leading A's funeral. It was a celebration of
everything that made her a unique person. Friends and family have commented
that we summed her up perfectly – warts and all!...She would have loved it....You
covered everything in such a remarkable way, reflecting her true spirit..a good
combination of levity and deference. Penny, you made it meaningful, uplifting
and a very personal farewell. Thankyou so much – she would have approved!’
When
someone
we
love
has
died,
saying
our
farewells
in
a
way
that
instinctively
feels
right,
allowing
us
to
express
our
feelings
of
loss
and
sorrow,
while
also
honouring
and
celebrating their life, is an important part of the healing process
Simple dignified farewell, or joyous celebration of life.
Religious, spiritual or completely non-religious.
However you choose to do it, it’s a privilege for me to travel
part of your journey with you and help ensure that your
loved one receives the funeral they - and you - deserve,
and I’ll do my utmost to help you achieve that.
A kind of funeral that’s responsive to your
needs
Many
people
find
that
traditional
religious
funeral
ceremonies,
of
whatever
faith
tradition,
no
longer
accurately
reflect
the
nature
of
their
beliefs.
Humanist
ceremonies
may
exclude
any
mention
of
religion
or
spirituality.
As
an
independent
celebrant
I’m
free
to
respond
to
your
wishes.
So
whether
your
loved
one
had
no
religious
belief
or
held
a
spiritual
belief
which
didn’t
quite
fit
into
an
established
faith
tradition,
or
had
a
more
philosophical
approach
to
life,
I’m
equally
happy
to
work
with
you
to
design
a
ceremony
that
reflects
that.
I’ve
led
ceremonies
with
no
religious
content,
that
honour
beliefs
in
Paganism,
Buddhism
and
Judaism,
and
others
for
people
who
had
very
personal
spiritual
or
philosophical
beliefs.
And
if
you’d
like
a
family
member
or
friend
to
lead
a
part
of the ceremony drawn from your faith tradition I welcome this and will support them to do so.
‘Although it was a sad occasion and most of us shed a few
small tears, the reflective and philosophical tone of the
ceremony was in keeping with my father's spiritual outlook
and has given me great comfort.’
‘We could not have asked for
anything more, what a perfect
farewell to a wonderful
woman. Everyone commented
on how lovely the service was.
Thank you Penny, for making
a really difficult time for us a
little bit easier.’
‘The tone you set was perfect in every way.
It was not too sombre nor too joyous, it held a middle
ground which was exactly what I was looking for.
It was respectful and was a true reflection of D.
The praise from all who attended was universal and it has
certainly raised a question in many minds about how they
would like their own funerals to be conducted.’
Copyright Penny McCarthy 2022
‘We have a mixed bag of
friends of different beliefs
and views on life and they
all seemed to have come
out more uplifted than
downcast. It was what
it was meant to be -
just a celebration of life
as C and I have always
thought it should be.’
For a copy of the leaflet ‘Planning a Civil Funeral’, click here